Why I Want to Become a Therapist

Written by an 18-year-old female, freshman in college:

            The topic I am choosing to write about for my final is related to mental health.  I have struggled with mental health challenges since I was twelve years old and most of my family members have challenges ranging from depression to anxiety to substance abuse and anger issues. I have been in therapy since middle school off and on.  At first when I thought about college I was going to major in business because my favorite subject is math and I wanted to make a lot of money as an adult.  However, this semester after taking computer classes I realize a business major will be very boring and not something I will enjoy doing for the rest of my life.  I do enjoy talking about psychology.  My therapist has given me a lot of homework so I can cope with my negative thoughts and attachment disorder.  Both of my parents are addicts and my mother left me when I was a baby.  My grandmother had to raise me because my parents weren’t able to. Today, I am more like the parent to my dad than the other way around.

            In high school I witnessed a lot of kids struggling with addiction and self-harm.  Many kids talked about suicide.  With the Corona virus many more kids are home which makes cyber bullying much more difficult to avoid.  When we were in school, we could talk to our teachers and counselors, but from home we are on-line all day, every day and kids are not afraid to be really mean if they can hide behind a computer. 

            I am also very concerned about the amount of mass shootings happening in America.  It feels like every day we hear about a new shooting.  I don’t feel like it’s real because it hasn’t happened to me but I guess it could any time because where I live a lot of people have guns for hunting.  All it takes is one really angry kid with a rifle and it could hit home.  

            There are many public arguments happening now about gun ownership, the pandemic, and black lives matter.  I live in Sussex County which is not very diverse so I don’t really see as much of the protests and marches like there are in the bigger cities.  However, even though Sussex County is primarily white, there are a few diverse kids who don’t feel like they fit in.  Even as of 2012 there were still KKK meetings happening in Newton and African American kids in High Point High School were still called the N word and threatened to be lynched. 

            Another public argument happening now is the George Floyd murder.  It feels like the country is divided into people who think the cop was guilty and others who don’t.  Just like when President Trump was in office the country is divided into those who believe in the virus and those who don’t.  It feels like our world is in chaos and this is the reason I think majoring in mental health is very relevant.  There are so many things to worry about and so many people struggling, I want to be able to do my part to help and make a career out of it.  I cannot imagine working the same boring job for year after year.  Working in mental health will always feel different every day.  I hope our country does not get worse but everyone is talking about global warming, food shortages, and homelessness.  It all ties into the need for mental health counselors.

Question #4 says, “Analyze a current position you hold on a debatable topic.”  Since the beginning of this essay explained why I am interested in majoring in psychology my focus will be with trauma starting in childhood.  Mental Health Counselors are paying special attention to how early childhood trauma impacts mental health in adults.  According to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, “Trauma has an impact on the entire person and affects multiples issues that need to be addressed in therapy.”  He also researches how trauma affects a person’s memory and perception. Dr. van der Kolk says, “The diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is no longer saved for veterans returning from war or people who have been sexually assaulted.”

            Many rehabs only focus on substance, depression, or eating disorders.  Now with Dr. van der Kolk’s research, counselors in are becoming more aware of how trauma impacts mental health.

Dr. Peter Levine, another trauma specialist says, “Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering.”

            Children who are placed in foster care or who grow up with parents who are abusive or neglectful often have trouble with trusting others.  Many teachers in school assume if a child is having trouble focusing or sitting still, they have ADD or ADHD and overlook the reality that the child may be acting out because they are traumatized from something that is going on at home or in school that the teacher doesn’t know about. 

            School Counselors try to explain to parents how bullying can be traumatizing for a child too.  Many parents think bullying is a part of childhood but the effects on a child’s self-esteem can be long lasting and cause permanent damage.

            Dr. van der Kolk wrote a book called, The Body Keeps the Score, to show how trauma reshapes the body and the brain. He wrote, “Trauma is a fact of life.  One in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with an addicted parent, one in three have engaged in physical violence.”

            Three typical responses are fight, flight, or freeze.  Fighting can be literal, as in a fist fight or verbal.  Flighting is running away or avoiding a triggering environment.  Freeze is shutting down and repressing feelings.  When a child is traumatized, they often respond with freezing because they cannot fight or flight due to their age and the power difference between parent and child. When a child freezes and represses his or her feelings, they may act out in anger or experience suicidal thoughts from holding in all of their feelings.  Many middle school students try self-harming to release their pain emotionally. 

            People who struggle with eating disorders or obsessive-compulsive disorder often describe a feeling of loss of control in their lives.  When a person self-harms, restricts calories, or becomes obsessive about cleaning they feel a sense of control.  They may not be able to control their problems but they can control what they eat or how clean their room is. I can relate to this because my house felt totally out of control when I was growing up.

            Dr. Claudia Black is an addiction specialist who runs a program in Scottsdale, Arizona.  Dr. Black grew up with an addicted mother and she wrote a book called, “It Will Never Happen to Me.” She wrote, “If you live in a typical American community, one out of six families in your neighborhood is affected by alcoholism. The alcoholic is a person who has developed a psychological and physical dependency on the drink. For children living in with an addicted parent they child often feels neglected because the parent is not responsive or consistent. Many children of alcoholics grow up to be addicts themselves.”

            In 2001 after the World Trade Center was bombed many people felt traumatized by witnessing the event either in person or on tv. After witnessing George Floyd being killed by a police man, many Americans are saying they are experiencing flashbacks and increased fear of police which is a symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

            Dr. Ainsworth and Dr. Bolbly studied how attachment disorders affect relationships. Attachment disorders are another form of childhood trauma.  According to Dr. Ainsworth, “When a child does not feel securely attached to their caregiver, they grow up feeling mistrust of others.  Dr. Edward Tronick performed a study called the Still Face Experiment, where a mother was engaged with her child and the child responded with joy.  When the mother pulled away and used a still face with the baby, he started to cry.  The experiment showed that children need attention from their caregivers, more than just feeding and changing diapers. 

            Many foster care children have attachment disorders that cause them problems with acting out behaviors as well as bonding with other adults.  Being is foster care can be very traumatizing if a child is passed around from home to home.  Most older foster care children have less chances of getting adopted because adoptive parents want babies.  The older children who are never adopted end up in group homes and often become criminals or addicts when they turn 18.  Many foster kids who join gangs do so because they want to feel like they are part of a family, even if it means they have to do very bad things to feel they belong.  The loyalty bond is important for kids in gangs because they don’t have anywhere else in life where they feel that anyone is loyal to them. 

            Working the mental health field there are many different jobs I can choose from.  I can become a Psychiatrist which is an actual Doctor.  I would be able to treat patients in psych wards and prescribe them medication.  There is a new DNA test available now that tells a person which psych meds will work best for their body which is really helpful. 

            I could be a therapist and work with people who have been traumatized or I can work in a school and help kids who are suffering with trauma and attachment disorders. 

            I could become a substance abuse counselor and help addicts stay sober which may be challenging for me because both of my parents are addicts so it may either feel like it’s too much for me or it will make me feel like I am doing something about a problem that I never had help with growing up.  I am not sure yet. 

            The difference between being a counselor instead of a social worker is that counselors do therapy with their clients.  Social workers are more like helpers in the community.  If I chose social work I could work with the homeless people or with people in jail. 

            I think it would be very cool to work with people in jail because like the current public argument about George Floyd, everyone in jail has a sad story.  Even though George Floyd did not deserve to be killed he was an addict and he had a pretty bad life.  Maybe if I become a social worker, I can help people like George Floyd avoid getting arrested in the first place.

            There is a book called, What Color is Your Parachute for Teens, by Carol Christen that my therapist always tells me to read.  The books help college students like me figure out what job we would enjoy the most when we get older. 

            I think it is a lot to expect a high school graduate to already know what they want to do.  Most of my friends have no idea and many of them just take classes because they parents force them to.  I don’t want to make that mistake.  I want to pick a major that fits my personality and will make the world a better place. 

            I have a lot of social anxiety so the idea of leaving my house every day and working with strangers gives me a ton of anxiety.  I am so glad I was able to take online courses this semester because I was afraid of going on campus and getting lost or having to face people from my past.  I still struggle with a lot of trauma from being bullied in high school.

            Dr. Aaron Beck is the father of CBT. He created the theory that if you change a negative thought to a positive thought you can change your overall happiness.  He uses a word called “reframing” which means change your words to something positive.  It’s similar to the old saying “making lemon out of lemonade.” If I decide to work in mental health, I will definitely help my patients learn CBT.  So many people have negative thoughts about the world.  As I stated earlier, many Americans are fighting over so many different topics.  I wish I could tell everyone who thinks the corona virus is a hoax to use CBT.  They can change their thought from, “The virus isn’t real,” to “I don’t know if the virus is real but I better not take my chances of passing it around.”  Another way to use CBT with a current public argument is to say, “I don’t know if I am a republican or democrat but I want all human beings to have good mental health and I will vote for anyone who supports programs for mental health.”

            Another source in mental health is Dr. Marsha Linehan who created DBT. Dr. Linehan believes that people make their mental health worse by being so impatient.  She called it, “Low distress tolerance.”  An example would be a person who has road rage.  They get really stressed out over traffic or another driver and it may lead them to fight the other driver.  Dr. Linehan teaches her patient how to accept that not all drivers are good and it’s not worth getting into a fight or getting arrested over.  She also teaches people how to stop being so moody.  She calls it, “Emotional Regulation.” She works with patients who self-harm or who are suicidal and they cannot control their emotions.  They see everything as black or white and this causes them to go crazy.  Dr. Linehan works with clients who have a mental health disorder called borderline personality disorder.  She says, “People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.” Dr. Linehan said people with BPD fear “being rejected or abandoned.”  They totally overreact if they feel someone is going to abandon them.  Many people with BPD often threatened to kill themselves if they think they will be abandoned because they would rather be dead than alone. 

            If I did choose to become a counselor, I would like working with clients who have BPD because I can relate to them.  I also worry about being abandoned which comes from my childhood.  I was actually abandoned by my mother so my fear is not just in my mind but now I think if my mother could abandon me, so could everyone else.  I would like to get to the place where I don’t have this fear overwhelm my life. 

            Dr. Linehan teaches clients how to maintain their emotions by using a tool called, “Radical Acceptance.” She believes that people overreact because they want to control things.  They don’t want to get left so they try to control the situation so they don’t feel abandoned.  With radical acceptance Dr. Linehan’s patients have to radically accept they cannot always have their way. 

            Radical acceptance would be a good tool for people who are fighting over politics.  If people could radically accept that everyone is different and have different beliefs than we might all get along better. 

            If I decide to work with substance abuse patients, I think radical acceptance will be helpful because so many addicts do not want to feel pain.  They use drug and alcohol to avoid feelings.  If they could practice radical acceptance, they would have to face their problems and accept that not everything always works out. 

            There are so many arguments in politics that affect a person’s mental health.  My grandma is very religious and she loves Donald Trump.  She is pro-life and anti-drugs.  I think religion is a good thing but sometimes it impacts people’s mental health for the worse.  For example, if you are poor and accidentally get pregnant and cannot afford to have a baby or you don’t want to drop out of school, religion will guilt you into having the baby.  This not only impacts the pregnant woman’s mental health but also the baby’s when the baby is born.  It seems like everything connects back to mental health.  Guns, drugs, alcohol, religion, poverty, crime, education, relationships, suicide, it all connects to mental health. 

            In summary, I think mental health is a good major for me because I can help a lot of people and there are so many options as I discussed above.