Betty and Me
The Betty Broderick Story
I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors; I screamed his name 'til the neighbors called the cops. I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver, don't know what I did next - all I know, I couldn't stop. Word got around to the barflies and the Baptists. My Mama's phone started ringing off the hook. I can hear her now saying she ain't gonna have it, "Don't matter how you feel, it only matters how you look! Go and fix your makeup, girl, it's just a breakup, run and hide your crazy and start actin' like a lady. Cause I raised you better, you gotta keep it together, even when you fall apart. Powder your nose, paint your toes, line your lips and keep them closed!" - Lyrics by Miranda Lambert
Elisabeth Anne Broderick was convicted of killing her ex-husband, Daniel T. Broderick, and his second wife, Linda Broderick, on November 5, 1989. Betty became enraged after she experienced relentless provoking by her husband's affair with his coworker and their public flirtation among Betty's friends and community. Betty's husband was a lawyer knowing precisely how to manipulate the law in his favor, ultimately leaving Betty feeling financially controlled, socially isolated, emotionally betrayed, and publicly humiliated.
Betty's story is similar to millions of women who also feel gaslit by their estranged husbands every day. While Betty's story escalated to violence, most women in these circumstances suffer in silence. Once a volatile relationship ends, we (the survivors) are left financially devastated and feeling disgraced.
As I was watching this show on the USA Network, I began to see myself, and many of my client's personal experiences play out on screen. The lies Betty's husband told her about his deceitful behavior, making her think she was paranoid when she recognized signs of his affair, were uncanny to my own experience with my ex. Dan Broderick started to defame Betty in public, making her peers question her sanity and mental fitness. Ultimately Betty was not only right about her intuition regarding his affair, she also found out her husband divorced her through a letter in the mail. In Betty's story, Dan secretly arranged for a dissolution hearing without informing Betty of the court date. The marriage dispute was dismissed after the judge assumed Betty intentionally defaulted. This experience happened to me, as well. My ex lied to the court, reporting that I had been notified of our dissolution hearing, (while he kept me in the dark). I did not find out I was divorced until a medical claim was denied. After calling to inquire about the denial, my insurance provider told me I was no longer covered because I was divorced. I had no idea I was divorced. When I asked my ex how he could do that to me, he replied, "I didn't want you to make a scene.”
Honestly, I feel vindicated by Betty's story. While I am not dangerous or considering murdering my ex and his mistress, I do relate to the pain Betty felt months after her husband married his mistress. One minute you have a life that you think is going somewhere with your partner – the next minute, the rug gets pulled out from under you, and you are left with nothing.
In my situation, my ex and his mistress became the new power couple of their school right away. Conversely, it took me four years after our separation to get back on my feet. During those four years of anguish, I was spiraling daily, grasping at straws and feeling hopeless. However, I knew I needed to pull it together for my son and my clients – so I made my mind up to reinvent myself, and here I am.
Dejaye Botkin, LPC
