Kelly’s Story
In seventh grade, when all middle school girls are stuck between “I’m not good enough…” and “Someday I’m going to be famous…” I vowed that I would become a lawyer. I think saturating my brain with regular viewings of “Legally Blonde” influenced the decision back then; however, it is my recent, real-life experiences that affirm my seventh-grade dream of pursuing law school.
In July of 2018, after completing a competitive summer internship on Capitol Hill, I was devastated to learn that I was pregnant. There was so much in life that I was looking forward to, but all in precise order. Instead of the anticipation of my senior year at Pepperdine, studying for the LSAT, graduation, and attending law school in the fall, I was now faced with the heaviest decision of my life – to keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy. I always desired the gift of motherhood but had not anticipated the journey to begin so abruptly.
While fear settled in, I focused on acquiring information to make the best choice. I conversed with women who had similarly become pregnant at a young age. I expected that hearing stories of both regret and confirmation would solidify my course of action; however, it did not. Someone else’s story can never be mine. I then turned to faith, another essential aspect of my life. I sought answers from the Lord in the chapel of my church, questioning His plans for me. I aspired to decide after talking with God, the choice would be clear; however, that was not a part of His plan. Without a strong sense of direction one way or another, I decided to take the easy way out. I met with a doctor from an abortion clinic and made a procedural appointment to terminate my baby the next day.
Overnight, it became apparent that I was making the wrong choice. I thought that aborting the baby and returning to my life and all of my plans would allow me to forget and disregard the entire ordeal. Conversely, I quickly realized that nothing would ever be the same. I would have turned against my morals, abandoned my religious convictions and, perhaps, forever lived to regret a decision made in haste. I rejected this option when I acknowledged the fear and listened to my heart. I opted to continue my pregnancy and keep the baby.
The comfort I had in this final decision did not eliminate challenges. I returned to campus with morning sickness that lasted all day, every day. However, I was most worried about my undefined future. I did not want to share my story because I was embarrassed. I concealed my hardships, including that my pregnancy was the result of a sexual assault. The silence I projected to the world, resulted in the slow, painful decay of my self-esteem. Despite all of it, I completed my degree requirements and walked across the stage to receive my diploma seven weeks after giving birth to my son, Matthew Brian. For me, it was a sad day; the plan of going to law school after graduation was nowhere to be found.
My family, with their unconditional love and support, encouraged me to address these new challenges. I sought professional mental health treatment, away from everybody. While in treatment, I learned coping skills and authenticity with myself and others. My path to law school was now clear. It is a privilege to have overcome what seemed insurmountable and to have found a new passion through my trauma. Although the life altering pain I suffered after my assault will never be washed from my memory; I am fervent about assisting other women who feel powerless. My childhood aspiration combined with my experiences have solidified my vocation to be a lawyer - to represent women who share my story.
I concur with Woody Allen when he said, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” I prayed for the opportunity to attend law school long before I knew why. God challenged my strength as a woman, a mother, a student, and as His daughter, but He did not tell me to give up. He gave me an opportunity to discover why I wanted to pursue law. My experiences, as trying as they were, molded me into the confident candidate I am today. I am fortunate to be living a healthy and joyous life; my goals and dreams are resurrected. I discovered that a hole as deep as the one I had can be healed. My story has solidified Elle Woods’ famous line, “You must always have faith in people. And most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.” I have found faith in myself and I am proud to be pursuing my lifelong dream of applying to law school.
Thank you for your consideration.
By: Kelly C.
